Home at last

I am back at home finally after an arduous journey from Kolkata. I dont think I mentioned it yesterday but my journey from Kolkata to Chennai by Coramandel Express was horrendous to say the least. The whole problem was with my ticket which was not confirmed. I had a seat (RAC) but no berth. Which meant that three people-two with RAC and one with reserved ticket- would share two side berths. The guy with the reserved ticket gets the upper berth and the two others with RAC share the lower berth. Well, rules are meant to be on paper alone.
The guy with a reserved ticket next to me would not, for god's sake understand that I was entitled to a seat. He was Bong and couldn't speak any other language to save his life. After hours of screaming my lungs out (thanks to the uncooperative TT who didn't do anything more than just check our tickets) and fighting like a mad woman, I managed to sit. He and his family hated me and gave me dirty looks for the rest of the journey.
Well, it really doesn't matter to me as long as I have no other problems. But the guy who shared my berth wouldn't sit through the night. He slept without a care in the world and I had to sit cramped for space in order not to touch him. Terrible.
Anyway, all's well that ends well. I am at home and that is all that matters to me right now.
Exams were not very good. I gave in very average papers which were very much below my expectations. I know I didn't work at all this semester and in one way, I deserved such a performance. There were many reasons why I did absolutely no work this semester. After the initial twin mini-tragedies of losing at NLS and the intra university moot (despite solid hard work for both) I was disheartened and it took a long time for me to pull myself out of them only to become prey to another obstacle. It is not really important to say more about the latter but that it distracted me totally from my work is undeniable. I think I deserved something worse for giving up my long-cherished beliefs and principles to yeild to base temptations. I am lucky I managed to revive myself right before the exams to at least give in average papers if not a decent ones. I am lucky my papers were not below average.
But one thing is for sure. This debacle of a semester (irrespective of what my results will be it will always remain a debacle to me) has made me much more focussed at work. I am now more determined to get my life out of the shambles it is in right now and start working towards my goal.
On that note let me mention that I am going to visit NLS everyday at least for a week starting tomorrow to research for my projects of the next semester. NLS has undoubtedly the best library among all law schools in India and I am lucky I am at least in Bangalore (to be able to use the library) if not in NLS. I am so kicked about it that I have been looking forward to this day for a month now. I just hope my projects do go off well this semester so that I successfully take the first step towards rebuilding my life...

Partial Homecoming

Killing time was never so much fun. I am in a cybercafe in Chennai Central Railway Station right now. My train to Bangalore is at 2310Hrs which means I have around three more hours to kill. But I am enjoying every moment here.
I arrived in Chennai at around 1735hrs that is, around two and a half hours back. After completing the essential duties of depositing luggage in the cloak room and confirming the time of departure of my train to Bangalore I went out of the station for a walk. It felt really good to be back home again. I know I am not in Bangalore yet but coming to South India itself is like a partial homecoming. I was sick and tired of hearing Bong words all day long in Kolkata and also in the train. Tamil was such a refreshing change. I feel a sense of belongingness as soon as I enter South India. Feels like home.
I just kept walking around the station observing people and their movements. I had whatever food whenever I felt like having. (I have had at least 3 cups of coffee, 4 glasses of juice, snacks at MarryBrown, some icecream, some chocolates and other arbit stuff) I spotted a cybercafe and thought it a good idea to check my mails as it had been almost a fortnight since I went online thanks to the inefficient server in my hostel and my exams. I plan to have a sumptuous south indian dinner at Saravana Bhavan and get onto my train and just sleeeeeeep....

What a lovely morning!

Absolutely. It was a wonderful morning today. It is one of the rare mornings when I wake up refreshed and feeling on top of the world.It was a beautiful sight outside. There was a light drizzle. The weather was cool and breezy. Sparrows and mynahs were cooling themselves in the water. I continued staring at the little birds for a long time from my window. Sparrows have become a rarity in Bangalore thanks to rising levels of pollution and urbanisation. Kolkata too is no different. There are sparrows in my campus only because it is situated on the outskirts of Kolkata. Away from the city. Far from the madding crowd.
For some strange reason I woke up feeling extremely happy. I can safely say that it was the first time in one and a half years of life in Kolkata that I woke up feeling happy to be where I was. For the first time I felt happy about being in Kolkata and did not curse my fate for not being in Bangalore.
How I wish every day began this way! It is really sad we always try finding fault with whatever we have been bestowed with...
It didn't take long for reality to hit me. The papers revealed some startling happenings. These were snippets which hit me greater than news of the Prime Minister promising job quota in private sectors. These snippets talked about mother throwing a newborn 'illegitimate' child from the terrace onto a tree. Newborn girl child wrapped in polythene paper and dumped in a dustbin opposite a hospital at the mercy of stray dogs by parents who wanted her to be a boy. Woman, on conceiving in a discotheque wrapping the infant in plastic and dumping it in the loo. Depressing stuff. Appalling stuff. And I thought there were no 'bad' mothers...
These things help me realise how lucky I am. Lucky enough to have a nice family. Lucky enough to be loved. Lucky enough to be cared for. Lucky enough to have friends. Lucky enough to be supported by people in hours of crisis. Lucky enough to have an education which provides me with an opportunity to shape my life the way I want. Lucky enough to have an identity. Lucky enough to have a life of my own... *Touchwood*
Yet I crib. Yet I am convinced life is unfair to me. Yet I cry over things which I dont have. Yet I dont make the best use of what I have. Isn't it more depressing than not having anything at all?

Thought of the Moment
To be without some of the things you want is an indispensable part of happiness. Bertrand Russell